Year: 2019

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Guide to traveling for the single Christian girl.

Christian Girl Traveling in Cuba

Traveling is something fun, amazing and beautiful. There is so much that this world has to offer, exploring different cultures and places to see. I think it is really good to visit a country and culture other than your own; to grow in your understanding and appreciation, but it can be hard if there is no one who is able to go with you. This scenario happened to me, where my friends were just unable to travel with me, so after working up lots of courage I decided to go for it- alone. At the same time I had to think about a lot of things, as some things change in your trip when you are doing it by yourself and particularly as a girl you want to stay safe. Also as a Christian girl we do need to maintain our God given standards, morals and values while we are traveling. It doesn’t change just because we are not in our own country or comfort place. So here are some tips if you want to travel as a single Christian girl:

Staying Safe and planning your trip:

1) Read up about each country that you are potentially interested in visiting before going. You can also get Lonely Planet guides out of the library as well to help you in your decision-making.

2) Firstly plan most of it! You can leave room for some spontaneous adventures but you don’t want to be caught off guard or find yourself in a difficult situation. Since you are by yourself the situation of things change, especially depending on where you are going.

3) For safety measures give your whole itinerary to someone such as your parents, so that they know where you are all the time, log your travel online- I know that my country has a website where you let them know what dates you will be in certain countries so that your government/ embassies know if something like a terrorist attack happens.

4) Keep in regular contact with someone back home like your parents so that they also know that you are ok. If anything happens they can let authorities know where you last were.

5) Avoid certain places like bars, pubs and clubs besides from the fact that they are not places that Christians should be attending, but these are places where you are more likely to run into trouble especially for a single girl on their own. I would also avoid if possible walking the streets at night alone.

6) Tours- these can be over a number of days, a day tour or half-day tours in groups or private guide. This is one way to keep yourself safe with people and also to make friends whom you can then tag along with on their journeys or day trips out. I did a mixture of these but I was particular on the group tours. I specifically picked some that went over a fewer amount of days, as I still wanted to honor my day of worship/ the Lords day and not be in tour groups over these days due to the fact that they also weren’t Christian tours. I highly believe that while you are traveling that you still honor God and His day, that you attend church where possible. Just because your traveling, you don’t throw God out the window or do things that you wouldn’t normally do or agree with. I chose to do 3-4 day group tours in some of the places that I went so that I still could honor God and it was a blessing to attend church in another country- you have a world wide church family always remember that.

7) Don’t book all your tours through a travel agent as they can charge more sometimes and also book in such a way that you may not have enough time to get from one place to the next. I recommend searching up the tours that you want to do from the brochures that you get at a travel agency to check them out, ask others what they recommend who have been to those countries as well, Google, visit an isite center when you arrive and then decide what you might like to do. You can also look at maps that are normally free within the isite centers, as this can give you a rough idea where activities/ attractions are etc. I did a mixture of these options when travelling.

8) Searching and exploring the city is sometimes better than going to all the tourist attractions and generally the cheaper option too. You get more understanding of that country and its culture, just simply by walking around.

9) An app that I highly recommend is the app “Here We Go”. It is a map app that you can use when walking around a city and you don’t need Wi-Fi/ data to use it. The only thing is you will need to download each map using Wi-Fi (but this can be done at a motel etc.) first but once downloaded you can walk around the city using it offline. You can type in the address of where your staying if you get lost and it will lead and guide you back. Also will take you to any place that you want to go. Its fantastic! Plus it is another way to stay safe! You can also still use paper maps if you desire too.

10) Use intuition!

11) Have money on your phone at all times for an emergency. I would recommend just using Wi-Fi to save money but you need money on your phone if you have to contact someone in emergency if you find yourself in a tricky situation.

12) Just in general be aware of pickpockets and scammers. Also be careful of homeless, some will come up to you and shake cups in your face wanting money, some will enter places that your eating at to try and ask for money too. As a general rule they do leave you alone but just be aware.

Accommodation:

1) If you are staying in a hostel I know that mixed rooms can be cheaper but remember we are still to honor God and not be lead into temptation- so book the rooms that are for girls only.

2) Air bnb is really good and they have an app that you can keep on your phone and can contact your host through. I again would recommend that you only book ones that are hosted by girls. You can book a room at someone’s place or a whole studio/apartment/house to yourself.

3) Hotels and Motels are also options and some motels depending on how far away from attractions, you book them can be cheap still. Booking.com, Expedia and Trivago are all good sites to compare prices and book from.

4) Another option is you can make contact with local churches in those countries and see if anyone at the church would put you up or take you to church.

Transportation:

1) Check and book travel transportation from airports if you can through recognized companies and also look into public transport. In LA I found Prime Time Shuttles pretty cheap (do not get a taxi), other places like Rome and Amsterdam the bus and train are really cheap and easy to use.

Prime Time Shuttle: https://www.primetimeshuttle.com

2) If you do not want to catch a plane from one country to the next or are traveling from one town to the next I found Flexi bus really cheap and really good. They also have an app you can get. You can also car share/ride through Bla Bla car but again I recommend that you only travel with a girl.

Flexi Bus: https://www.flixbus.com

Bla Bla Car: https://www.blablacar.com

3) Hop on Hop off bus is also pretty good and has lots of different routes that you can choose from all over Europe. I personally haven’t actually used them yet but I know people who have and recommend them.

4) Trains and Metros are good especially within a city; they can become expensive sometimes when traveling from one country to the next so that’s why I recommend something like Flexi bus or Bla Bla car.

5) Hire a car but make sure you have looked up and know the road rules. But this is a more expensive option and is better with others who can share cost.

6) Uber is also good option depending on where you are. In Europe I would do the other options but in America Uber is the best option (Will I personally found it was). It is so much cheaper than a taxi and will save you lots of money, as your only paying for the distance traveled not the amount of time spent in the car, which you will with a taxi. In places like LA you will get stuck in traffic, which will make the trip really expensive. Taxis will rip you off especially as a girl traveling on her own. I had such fantastic Uber experiences in America. Again there is also an app you can get for this, which I recommend.

7) Grab app is really great when in places like Malaysia. It is like Uber but only cheaper. Just remember that you will need wifi to get a Grab. Trains are also really easy to use in Malaysia too.

Money:

1) Always carry some cash on you. Places like Germany if you are wanting something that costs under 10€ you have to pay with cash; they will not let you use card. I found this interesting as in my own country we can buy anything using card even if its only $1!

2) I highly recommend getting yourself a money card just for your travelling money so to protect your bank accounts from being hacked. But also I would carry a spare card like a credit card incase you lose your money card. My money card was through – cash passport. I got mine through my local bank. You can top up as you go and change different currencies. Just remember that sometimes it takes a few days for the money to be converted so make sure you have enough money and transfer from your bank account in advance. https://global.cashpassport.com

3) When your out and about and you don’t want to carry a big back pack, I recommend a small pouch bag that you can wear over/across your shoulder (so that no one can steal it off your arm) and have your money and passport in the inside of the bag-not in any front pockets. I found mine so good and helpful when I didn’t want a backpack.

General Tips:

1) I don’t recommend carting around 2 suitcases even if one is a small one. Just one suitcase and one backpack, or a super large backpack that holds everything. I guess it also depends on how long your traveling for but you have to remember that you have to transport your luggage from venues and modes of transport. Have locks on your luggage that are security locks too so that no one can tamper with it.

2) Search packing tips on Pinterest as they have some really good hacks. I also got some great ideas of things I wanted to see and knowledge about countries from there as well. www.pinterest.com

Go for it! You will learn so much about yourself, your capability, self-discovery and strengthen your faith with God by total reliance on Him. Make sure you stay connected to God, the One who created you, by reading on the airplane through books, apps etc. You can also do this on the train, bus, in a park etc. Download sermons and have them on your MP3 player/ iPod to maintain Spiritual food while on your journeys. Pray always without ceasing!!!

I hope these help and have a wonderful time :).

Much Love.

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Do we really need to belong to a church to have a healthy Christian walk?

Holy Bible

To answer this question we need to look at the existence of churches in the first place, why and how they were set up. A lot of people when asked about the origin of the Christian church, point back to the time of the apostles after the death of Jesus. Where they went from house to house, town to town, preaching and sharing the Word of God to both the Jews and the Gentiles. This has also been used as an excuse as to why some Christians believe and feel that we don’t have to meet in a church/ organized church but can have what is known as ‘home church’ instead or just keep their day of worship at home with just their family. One point to remember here is that back in the apostles time gentiles were not allowed to go into the Jewish synagogue to worship or certain parts of it, so they had to meet in places where they all could gather together, both Jew and gentile to hear the message of God being taught, before creating their own building as they grew in number. In certain areas because of their geological location there might’ve only been a handful of believers in God, so as a result they would meet in someone’s house for church because they either didn’t have a building to use or the affordability of one as well. There are a few factors to consider when looking at this reasoning.

For me the idea of church goes back even further than that of the apostle’s time. We can even look back to at of when the sanctuary was built in Moses time. God asked specifically for a sanctuary to be made as a replica or pattern of the Heavenly sanctuary, where He gave clear instructions in the way things should be built and done within it. Note to remember- only the ceremonial side of the sanctuary/law was done away with at the cross because Jesus was the official sacrificial lamb, that came to pave the way of salvation for all, from sin. Those ceremonial practices where symbolic, pointing to the coming lamb.

One of the reasons as to why He asked for a sanctuary to be built was so that He may dwell among His people (Exodus 25:8). He also used the sanctuary to reform the children of Israel’s character and to point them back to Heavenly thoughts, which is the same for us today. The principles have not changed, as God is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). There is an extra special blessing for those that keep the Sabbath and come into a place where God’s presence dwells, just like in the sanctuary in Moses day.

We are created in the image of God and are designed as social beings intended to have relationships with God and one another. God tells us not to stop the meeting of coming together as found in Hebrews 10:23-25, for a lot of good reasons. Apart from there being a place where He dwells (and yes He does also dwell in our hearts), church is a place where others of like faith can encourage one another through what is going on in each individuals lives, teach children how to walk rightly, to live an abundant filled life through the virtues and to learn about God. A place of spiritual growth, understanding gained and to be challenged otherwise one can become stale in their Christian walk. If you don’t ask questions, find out others perspectives and only gain your spiritual food off a sermon you watch on TV, no real growth will happen.

Church is also a place of accountability or should be, learning how to connect with others, learning to work with different types of people, and their personality types. You can achieve more as a body united, be a greater witness and empowered than just on your own. Going to church isn’t about yourself (though one grows by attending church), but about honoring God, as He’s the head and what He has asked us to do.

Sabbath is that time set apart to spend with God as He instituted right back at creation, to connect with people of like faith, and to support others on their spiritual journey within your faith. It’s about God and not about what we want. If we are not getting spiritual food in church, how can we change that? Could we be the one to give the spiritual food, which in turn will help you, as you remember 90% of what you teach? I encourage you to be the change you want to see. Is it about you or about God?

Food for thought…

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How to have a devotional time with God

Opened Bible

What is the point to morning devotions? This is a question that I have pondered before and others have ask me the same question. Jesus was our perfect example for us to follow if we want to live the best life possible and to establish an eternal life with Him. Since He is our best example we see that He chose to rise up early in the morning to spend time with His Father everyday so that He would remain connected no matter what happened throughout His day. The reason for this is to start your day right, right with God in it. Through spending time with God is how we draw closer to Him and when situations arise during our day we have God at the forefront of our minds to help us, to know how to deal with it and to send the devil packing. When the day starts and we haven’t spent any time with God, we get too busy with work or everyday daily living, that we often forget to spend any time with Him at all and how do we expect to have a relationship or grow in our faith if we leave Him out. Like any relationship, if we don’t communicate or communicate often enough, it soon breaks down and withers away to non existent.

I wrote this list to help someone I know who was struggling with having a devotional time. As we all have struggles, knowing what to do for our morning devotions and being motivated to get out of bed, haha, I thought that I would share this, so I hope this may help you too:

  1. Get to bed at a reasonable hour even if you don’t want to. Allow a day like Saturday to be your late night unless there is an exception like you’ve gone out for someone’s birthday meal etc. Otherwise it makes getting up in the morning harder, especially if we are always tired.
  2. Wake up early and just start off with 15mins if that is all you can do to begin with. That’s better than doing nothing. Then you can slowly build up to a time you feel your able to do.
  3. Pick what you would like to do in your devotional time prior such as the night before or beginning of the week, so that you don’t have to figure it out in the morning. Here are some ideas to help you get started:

    a. Read a chapter of Proverbs every morning. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs so this will last a month if you read one a day. Read over each chapter and carefully look at what each verse is saying. You can even write down what you get out into a journal if you are someone who keeps journals to help you remember the key points.

    b. Buying a devotional book or e-book and read this through the month/year (how ever long that one goes for). You should be able to get these at your local Christian book store or online at book depositary etc.

    c. There are devo plans if you download the Youversion Bible app (it’s the little brown Bible). There are lots of different devo plans that you can do on a range of different topics. They also vary in how long they go for, such as some last 5-7 days while others go for 13 days.

    d. Lesson Book if your church does one. My church does one for our Bible study hour- read each day’s lesson and look up the Bible verses with it. You can also read up on the verses in a commentary to help you understand the context and meaning more. I sometimes do this and write certain key points in my lesson book for easy remembering.

    e. Could choose a book of the Bible that you really want to study or a Bible character. I often like doing this along side the Bible Commentaries and I write it down in a journal. (Not all the time). This isn’t my specific way of studying, but this could be one of the ways that you really want to do every morning. I do this not as a morning devotional but rather if I am just studying something in particular.

    f. Write in your prayer journal every morning or once a week. There are a few websites now with people creating prayer journals or devotional writing journals for quiet times that you can order to help you. (www.wholeheartedquiettime.com, www.findwondrousthings.com/heyfriend– are a couple of those sites) I will write up a post sometime of how I made mine.

    g. Get little study books and read a page every day and fill it in as you go. (Manna Bookstore has some. I have 3- Prayer, Joseph and one on the Prodigal Son). You may even be able to buy study books for Kindle.

Other ideas of staying in tune with God:

  • Reading a good Christian book every night just for a little bit, helps you stay in tune with God also right before you fall asleep. This helps you to think on good things and to have God always on your mind.
  • Memorizing scripture- write on big pieces of paper, stick to drivers wheel and when you stop at lights etc, you can start to read and memorize some. You could also place one on your fridge so you read the verse every morning as you have your breakfast.
  • Change the music you listen too. This is one I am trying to work on haha. And also the entertainment you watch or involve yourself in. Don’t let the devil in, in any small or big way. We don’t want to give him even an inch. What ever you see, hear or taste moulds us.

Hope this helps you in some way :).

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Visitors, will they be back?

Welcome Please Come In

There it was! The same universal, worldwide sign, so recognisable and even though the words may sometimes be in another language, I can still tell what it reads. It was my church family on the other side of the world. With great anticipation and excitement, I walked across the street and stepped in the doors to fellowship with those of like faith, my brothers and sisters in Christ, on the other side of the world. I walked in, sat down, no one came near me and no one spoke to me. Suddenly someone approached me and sat down. This was nice I thought, only to have them ask and gesture for me to move along the pew so that their friends could sit next to them. When I was unable to move any further as I had reached the end by the heater, I received a dirty look because this now meant that there wasn’t enough room for all their friends to be able to fit and they wanted me to vacate my seat. The sanctuary was so full that day that there was actually no seats left for me to even move to as some members were having to stand at the back due to it being all full. Throughout the service I kept on getting glared at so in due course when the service ended, I quietly got up, walked out of the church unnoticed, and off down the street the way I came.

One of the most exciting things for me on my ‘big trip’ was this moment, where I was about to go to a church in another country other than my own, but only to come away with questions, disbelief, and amazement. This was only one of my experiences.

What do you think of your church? Is it a friendly church? Welcoming? Hospitable? Or do you feel that it may be only because you already know people there and have friends that attend? How would a visitor feel about your church whether they be a member from another church or someone off the street?

These were just some of the questions that I started asking myself during and after my big overseas trip. Growing up in the church, I always knew people. Through attending youth camps and other church gatherings, I developed great friendships with others in different parts of the country. Whenever I visited, they would welcome me into their church, introduce me to other church members and plan social events. I always felt welcomed! I was really excited to visit other churches in different countries and to experience their church as every country may do things slightly differently even though we share similar beliefs. It would be the first time that I was the observer and the visitor that no one knew. Unfortunately my thoughts were only to be completely changed.

Now don’t get me wrong, not every church I visited was lacking in hospitality, as I did have great experiences also and met some really great people whom I still keep in touch with. I am truly thankful for those amazing memories and great experiences. But I can’t say the same for all the churches I visited. Now thankfully I am someone who doesn’t mind spending my day of worship to myself in another country and I don’t rely on others to do that for me. I am also someone who doesn’t get offended easily so these experiences haven’t changed my faith in God and I still 100% believe in the faith. This experience was great and has taught me a number of things and made me question, what is my church like?

Now I am not saying that you all of a sudden have to open up your homes to every visitor who walks through the door, but i know that if it was someone else who experienced some of these receptions and a lack of interest or welcoming, that this could’ve really affected them. I looked the part of a well-groomed Christian all dressed in my best. But I wondered if I wasn’t, would people have made more of an effort, thinking that they could convert someone or win a soul to Christ? But because I was already a Christian, does that mean that I didn’t need that welcome?

We have no idea where other Christians or non-believers lives are headed and what they have been going through. What if I had walked away from God and just decided to try and come back, so yes I looked the part because I already knew about dressing right, but I walked into a church as unfriendly or as rude as I experienced. Would that person have stayed or become discouraged again?

We need to remember the principle spoken about in Matthew 25:31-46, when Jesus was talking to His disciples about how others are treated, which in turn was showing how you were treating God:

“The righteous will answer Him, saying ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see you a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothed You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?” (vs 37-39)

The key point we need to remember is:

“And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, You did it to Me.” (vs 40).

We know this verse but how many of us stop to ponder it and its meaning. If you keep on reading from verses 40-46, you will find out how upset God is when others are not taken care of by those who know God. Just like the verse above, Jesus also says:

“Then He will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.” (vs 45).

As God’s followers, we are called to care, look after, welcome all those whom we come into contact with, as we are a reflection of Christ to others and we may be the only Bible some people see, through our actions and words.

So I want to encourage you to take a serious step back and look at your church. our churches should be one of the happiest places to come to as we are all coming together to worship our Creator with the amazing truths that we have. We are a helping and healing ground to all that we come in contact with. What can you do to make your church more welcoming? or what can you do personally even if other members won’t get on board? What you do or don’t do will have an affect on others lives.

Let our churches be praised for being the inviting, welcoming place that new or old comers love to dwell as we dwell in the presence of God.

Much Love

Sash

Shame It Needed To Be Said

She was on holiday and called in to your church to worship, but oh dear me,
No friendliness was shown, so after the service she left immediately.
She wasn’t impressed, and no doubt God wasn’t either, for it’s His church, you know,
And His church isn’t exclusive, so back again she’s hardly likely to go.

She had the whole day to kill, could’ve done with an invite to lunch, some friendship,
But no one seemed to care, and why lack out the front door she was soon seen to slip.
And no one feeling guilty — some witness, I must say — so why’s anyone there?

Well, for the little good they’re doing; and I thought that Christ we’re supposed to share.
Oh, she visited another church to worship. Was it yours? Fared better there,
Because at least one person responded, maybe you, but I still thought, “Oh dear.”
Only one person? And how many others were there? Yes, what a tragedy,

So I guess they might as well shut shop, for why would Christ want to be there? Or me.

By Lance Landall

(www.poetrywithamission.co.nz)

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Why still single?

Single Rose

I am writing this because of my last blog and thought that I would expand on the question of why some people are still single when they apparently read Joshua Harris’s book, having been following the principles and are/were waiting on God. I sat and thought about this more for a long time after a phone conversation with one of my guy friends. During the conversation it came up about the fact that there were a number of single girls in his town and he couldn’t quite understand why they were all still single. (He himself is married).

There are so many factors, situations and reasons that play apart as to why girls and guys are still in the ‘single’ stage/ situation of life. It is so easy for us to blame God, a book and people as to why we are still single, but I believe that this needs to be looked into in a more open minded way. Don’t worry, I can relate as I too being in my early thirties and am currently single. This may not be the complete list or answers as to why but here are some reasons as to why some people could be in the ‘single stage’.

Where I grew up there isn’t many young adults in our churches especially around my age which makes it difficult to find someone and I am from a city! I lived there for 29 years before moving to a smaller town for my job. You may be from a small town and this could be a factor, just no one around. To every problem there is a solution whether it be, what are you doing to share your faith with others? With this will bring new people into your church- though be careful of your motive as your motive for sharing your faith shouldn’t be to find a wife/ husband. This is just simply another avenue that God could bring someone into your life. We are called to be missionaries and to spread the Word of God. Geographically is one reason as to why people haven’t found someone and I would say is quite common.

Another factor is the spiritual state of those available and I personal believe that this is a big thing. For me personally I believe in finding someone not only the same faith as me, as this is what the Bible is very clear on (2 Corinthians 6:14), but in spiritual harmony with me within the faith. They don’t have to have been in the church as long or have as much knowledge but God has to be number one in their life and very much apart of their life. Even within the same faith you have to be careful as not everyone is always on the same page or has a relationship with God. There are a lot of people who just go to church because that’s what they have always done, tradition and social aspect/ side of church, but don’t have a personal relationship with God or know what they believe. Even those that come into the church don’t always come in for the right reasons or are ready to enter a relationship- you shall know them by the way they act and their fruits (Seek wise counsel if unsure). This could be another reason that there might be a lack of spiritual young people. I myself personally won’t enter a relationship with someone who isn’t on the same page as I have witnessed so many broken relationships because of this or those being changed by that person who didn’t have a relationship with God, for the worse and from my own personal experience. Through making yourself spiritual, you can be a witness to others, which will help them grow in theirs and they might become strong in the Lord. Be careful not to enter a relationship in the hope of changing the other person, as this is not the right motive or Gods way. Mostly you will be pulled down and they will revert back to their ways.

Maybe your not spiritually where you should be, your motives are impurer or have a lack of faith. We don’t have to be ‘perfect’ for God to bring you a partner but we do have to be having God at the forefront of our lives in every area and aspect. We can only serve one master (Matthew 6:24).

Maybe its not Gods time! I know you have probably heard this before but it is true. Waiting on God is the hardest thing (I totally understand as I find it hard at times too), but ultimately God is God and He knows best. He knows you and the future. He wants to give you a great future full of blessings. He is not a withholder (Jeremiah 29: 11-13). There could be reasons as to why He may have kept you single such as the work you are doing for Him is great at the moment and you wouldn’t be able to achieve this if married. Your time and other areas, things in your life change once you become married. He may want to continue to develop your character in preparation for marriage or maybe the person you are meant to be with isn’t ready. How many of us think of that thought? They could still be finding out about God through situations in their life, just coming into the church or maybe you are helping them know God at the moment.

Make yourself available by attending camps, conferences, training, meeting new people, visiting churches, travelling, so that you can continue to get to know yourself- who you are, who God wants you to be, as well as meeting others. Though God doesn’t want our sole focus in life to be looking for our ‘soul mate’ but to wait on Him, He still expects us to use the brain that He has given us. We aren’t to lock ourselves away expecting God to drop someone on our doorstep (though of course God can do anything). God expects us to meet others as we are called to share. There is nothing wrong with making yourself available in a God honouring way.

Continue to get to know God, do a work for Him while you are still single because its not finding “Mr Right” but being the person God wants you to be. Mission first, Mate second as was instituted in the Garden of Eden with Adam (Genesis 2:15, 19-20).

Unfortunately there is the reality too that we don’t live in an ideal world so there will be some people that may never have a partner due to various reasons. War has also played a part in this factor, creating fewer men in the world to women. I like how in ‘Princess Cut’ the Christian movie dealing with relationships said, that we need to stop trying to get a harvest before planting the seed. God has given you this valuable time while single to serve others and to draw closer to Him. We are to use it wisely, stop trying to find love, let God bring love to you.

Its better to be happily single than unhappily married. Be thankful and content with what you do have.

Much love.

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This Ordeal over “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”

Christian and Isolation

When I first learnt about Joshua Harris deciding to review his stance of the book he wrote, I was a little surprised and decided to look into it further. I remember reading this book when I was younger and so was interested as to why he was rethinking his stance. So I decided to read what Joshua said were his reasons as to why he’s decided to have a re-look, as well as, spending a long time reading through the comments/ feedback that were given on his website regarding others with their experience with his book in their lives. I watched some videos on YouTube as well, for both sides of the argument and found it all very fascinating.

When I read the book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”, It was years after the book was first released and it’s so called ‘movement’ that swept across America. I was way out of high school and hadn’t heard about the books impact in many people’s lives except that of my sister. I understand and can sympathise with how people must feel with having the book almost ‘Bible Bashed’ at the time, as this is what happened in the case of my sister. It was done through some people who meant well, but went about it the wrong way to end a close friendship my sister was having with a guy (they weren’t even in a relationship). At the same there is no way that any of the blame should be targeted/ directed to Joshua Harris for this and I feel that people are using Joshua as a scapegoat. People will always take what they read and use it in ways that are both negative and positive; it is all about how people go about it.

I read this book awhile after the ‘movement’ and I personally believe that this book is for those who are not ready for a relationship and was giving guiding principles on how to stay pure and honour God in your singleness for when the time is right to pursue a relationship leading to marriage. I believe that this book is aimed at high school kids/ youth and so far have not found anything wrong Biblically. As soon as I had completed it, I realised that the target audience was that of teens/ late teens who should wait and stay pure until the right time and that time was when they were ready for the commitment of marriage. It is saying to wait until you are ready to pursue a relationship with the intent of it leading to marriage, otherwise you will go through needless heartache, pain and playing with other peoples feelings, which is unfair, as well as your own. There is no point to having a relationship for the sake of a relationship because others are. Just because it is what’s done, doesn’t make it right. It is also a temporary enjoyment with lasting consequences and this is just asking for the unnecessary, needless heartache. This also can wrongly lead to the other person involved being led-on which is selfish. Treating a relationship/ person like this can cause/ lead to problems later on in future relationships as a result. If you ask most other people they would say that they wished they stayed pure rather than throwing it away.

His other book “Boy Meets Girl” is for those who are responsible, mature enough for marriage, and feel that they are ready to purse a relationship with the intent of it leading to the commitment of marriage.

I believe that one mistake that a lot of people make is that they forget, that things like this book, is a guide and you have to look at your particular situation and apply it too that, which unfortunately people don’t seem to do. As a result of not doing this, they are quick to blame when things don’t go how they envisioned or planned it too for their life.

We must remember that a husband or wife isn’t our reward for staying pure. God never promises this. He asks us to obey Him and to stay pure because we love Him, not what we can get out of Him (1 These 4:3-4). Our motivation should be about us wanting to honour and please God because we love Him and want that everlasting/ eternal relationship.

There are so many reasons and factors that can play apart in why relationships have broken down or why people have not found someone. A book can’t be blamed for that as choices are made and this book was only a guide with some guiding principles. If we throw away his book, do we throw away the Bible, as his principles were Bible based? We all have free well to choose. I actually feel that it is almost unfair for Joshua Harris to be personally targeted, but by nature us humans, we like to find someone to blame. This all started right back in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve blamed others for their choice. I believe that everything needs to be taken in context and all studied with the Bible, as I believe what the Bible says is true no matter what, even if it goes against popularity. Do we please God or man?

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Welcome!

Welcome to my blog! This is where I will share, express my thoughts, opinions of what I have found through my searching’s and journey as a Christian girl- though not everything will be religious all the time.

What started me on this whole idea of blogging? Will blogging was actually never something I thought about doing or even really considered. My Journey started when I heard about the Christian author Joshua Harris deciding to have a look and rethink his stance on a book he wrote called “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” A video appeared on my YouTube browser showing two girls with this book, so I decided to watch it. It was the first time I had learned of these two girls and their ministry ‘Girl Defined’. This was where I started to look into things a bit more in depth. Growing up a Christian and with godly parents, I was always taught the Biblical concept on relationships as well as on many other topics. I had read over the years a number of books on this topic including this book mentioned. I decided to re-look at this topic of relationships and as I did I realised that there are a lot of girls and even guys wanting answers on so many different aspects of this area, especially with the changing society of our day, as well as other topics. I decided to share some thoughts on a variety of things as well as relationships. This will come about with what I discover, notice, through conversations etc and from day to day as to what I will write and share. I hope my thoughts of how I find them through the Bible and other avenues will get you thinking and maybe some answers too. 🙂