Tag: love

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Freedom, What is that?

There is so much talk at the moment around freedom; freedom of rights, accountability, what opinions are allowed to be shared, and the list goes on, becoming endless. There are lots of voices crying out over particular topics or events, people losing their jobs left, right and center over an opposing opinion, others being sued, violence erupting or death threats taking place with the world in turmoil, thus making individuals wonder what on earth is going on? With the age of the internet and even more so, with social media, it is so easy for hate to spread, cyber bullying to occur, the sharing of different ideas, expressing oneself to millions. There are pros and cons that go along with such an invention.

Firstly when understanding true freedom, we need to take a step back from all this chaos to think more clearly and actually look at this word ‘freedom’, reminding ourselves of what exactly it is, and what does it actually look like. It can be too easy to get caught up in a lot of the different things/ ideology that is swirling around the internet or news media these days, where so many are jumping on the various band wagons out there.

According to the Cambridge dictionary freedom means “the condition or right of being able or allowed to do, say, think etc. whatever you want to without being controlled or limited.” According to the Collins dictionary ‘freedoms’ are instances of this, such as freedom of speech, political freedom, freedom to decides one future, freedom of religion and so forth.

There are certain laws of the land that we are governed by, that I like to call more ‘moral’ laws for easy understanding, which are laws to safe guard humanity i.e.- laws against murder, abuse and road rules. These are rules to keep everyone safe and make the world go round. When discussing freedom for this article, we are going to park those laws to one side and discuss more the other freedoms as mentioned in the above paragraph.

As seen in the definition of what freedom means, true freedom is of being able to say, do and think how one wants and believes to be right. When we take a look right back to the book of Genesis in the Garden of Eden, God created Adam and Eve, both with free will, able to make their own decisions and choices. God could have made us like robots but that wouldn’t be true freedom, due to not being able to think freely as we are being controlled. He could have destroyed the devil straight away or Adam and Eve when they sinned but He didn’t, as that would’ve created fear in others hearts, resulting in worship or obedience to God out of fear rather than because they wanted/ chose too. A world of true freedom can only truly exist when you have the freedom of choice. The reason why saying “I do” when a couple gets married at the wedding ceremony is so beautiful, is because the bride or groom had the choice to say “I don’t”.

If we want true freedom to exist there will always involve risk/s- that is part of the package. God loved us so much and that is why He gave us the freedom to choose to follow Him or not. He’s not going to force it or take any individual up to Heaven who doesn’t want to be there.  He sent His Son Jesus down to this earth with the risk of being separated from Him eternally, just to give us a way out of this sinful earth through the gift of salvation because of His love for humanity! What Real Love!

No government, famous person or any other individual for that matter, has the right to control or stop the way people think, as God Himself has given that freedom of choice, NO ONE has the right to change that. What I am seeing today makes me very sad with the loss of respect for one another and people losing their jobs just because they have a difference of opinion to someone else. There is no true freedom in that. We may not always agree with what others say or do but we can’t stop them from believing in what they believe. As soon as you try to stop or silence someone by hating them, refusing to talk to them or letting them share their opinions, personally attaching them, firing them or forcing them to resign over an opposing opinion, you take away their rights. Some say that they are being discriminated against by these individuals who have opposing opinions, such as those from the LGBTQIA+ community, (which might be the case in some circumstances), but while there is great lengths to give them their rights, others rights of being allowed a different opinion in this area are being taken away. There is no true freedom in that while giving rights to one, we are taking rights away from another of being able to disagree. (Disclaimer: no one should ever be persecuted, no matter who they are or what they believe). We are seeing this in multiple places, topics or areas now. People such as writers or comedians will soon be out of a job because they are not allowed to joke anymore or share their opinions, if it is different from those with the loudest voice at the time.

I have seen a huge shift in generations and how currently, people cannot handle or know how to deal with criticism or differences of opinions. We have lost resilience and this is lacking in teaching our children this skill in our education. This is something that is mainly only facing First World countries. We have swung the pendulum too far and creating our children to be too soft, instead of learning how to deal with adversity.

True freedom is living in a world where we learn to agree to disagree with others and yet still live in unity, showing respect, respecting others viewpoints and learning to get along despite our differences. When we study the Bible, particularly the book of Acts we can see this quite clearly. There were many people from different walks of life, race, socio-economic backgrounds, age, experiences, differences of personalities and having a different opinion, but yet all came together, to work together for God.

This is something that society once had but is now losing, sadly. Personally I would rather live in a world where I could be offended and true freedom exists, than in a world where your freedoms are being taken away and you are being told how you should think.

Learning to deal with others who are different to us or have different viewpoints is through taking the time to understand them, walking in their shoes and understanding why they view things in that way. You don’t have to agree but we are called to love others as Christ loves them. Christ came to this earth to die for all, not just one or two or three, but all! Showing love and kindness to them- love always wins in the end. Learn not to make assumptions that can’t be seen and always pray for others!

When we look at freedom, we always need to go back and remind ourselves of what it truly means before we cry out over anything, especially without solid foundations.

Food for thought… 

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The Means We Seek

Faithful Prayer

“The means we use must be as pure as the ends we seek.”

– Martin Luther King Jr.

As I ponder on this powerful statement by Martin Luther King Jr., I look around this world in chaos, hatred and selfishness, and I see how easily people can become caught up in some of the characteristics that go along with such actions of unkindness, hurt, lack of thought and evil, in different circumstances. I see these actions occurring through injustices that others see or experience which ignites retaliation, through showing governments how unhappy one feels towards certain actions or legislation, through the ambitions of getting a top position that has been desired for sometime, boosting ones business to make it bigger and better or any other such situation.

Looking at the word “motive” I realise that this word is not something that we take a lot of stock of in our own individual lives, or talk a lot about unless it is in regards to the gym! But motive is something that underpins all that we do in the means that we use or seek, whether it is generating change, how we see others or gaining that much desired promotion. Motive in and of itself, is neither bad nor good, but depending on how we use it, is what determines the outcome for bad or good (Proverbs 4:23). If we see like Christ saw, our means would always be as pure as the ends that we seek (Proverbs 16:2). It doesn’t become about us but about God and what He wants or desires to have happen.

There have been times in my life where I have wanted to create or see change, to make something better or wanted others to know that an injustice has occurred. I remember there having been particular situations where I have wanted to and really wished that I could be mean back to that person or showed them how they wronged me, all in the hope to wake them up. My personality is not one where I could ever bring myself to do that, as I generally shy away from any conflict situation. Looking back on those moments I praise God that I never did use these methods, as even though I might’ve been justified in the way I felt, it wasn’t the right meansto use for the end result I wanted to see take place. It wouldn’t create change; only create more division and turmoil.

As Christians, in all that we do we should be able to give glory to God. For after all if we call ourselves Christians, it is Him that we follow, believe in and are ambassadors for. If we are using our own selfish ambitions to achieve the result we are wanting, then how does this glorify God? If we are using manipulation, lying and bullying tactics to achieve a great outcome for God, how does this glorify a loving God? The Bible clearly tells us that God is a God of love (1 John 4:8), patient and longsuffering (2 Peter 3:9), not wanting anyone to perish but all to be saved. Using these kinds of means or methods goes against who God is and ultimately does more damage than good.

Something I believe that is lacking in amongst society today including Christians, is the ability to pause before making decisions or reacting and especially for Christians is stopping to pray first. Often we run ahead of God, get tired of waiting and so as a result we think we know best and try to help Him, justifying that if the end results turn out good, its ok. This is unfortunately the wrong attitude to have and can lead to a slippery slope. This is not Biblical in any way (1 Timothy 1:5).

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

– Psalm 51:10

The great thing is that we can become more pure in our means in all areas of our life but it can only be done through intimately knowing God. I’m not meaning knowing all about God in knowledge only, as this doesn’t take root in your heart. You can have a head knowledge without having the heart knowledge. Just look for example at all the fans of famous celebrities such as Tom Cruise for instance. They know all about him but they don’t know him personally or intimately. There is a big difference between someone who hasn’t met you, barely knows you and intimately knows you. It is the same for Christians, we need to be so careful we don’t get caught up in the very same trap where we know all about God but don’t actually know God intimately (haven’t had a real personal heart encounter). Its only through knowing Him intimately that change occurs and our means become more pure, where people can see the difference (Matthew 7:16). You will then be able to see people, objects, things and situations differently- through the eyes of Christ. We must strive through the help of God to always seek pure means, even if we don’t always see the results straight away, this is not our concern, as God said that He would look after you and fight your battles. (Exodus 14:14, Deuteronomy 3:22).

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

– Romans 12:2

The Bible is very clear when it comes to seeing what others are doing or a crowd, and not getting caught up in such, even if what they are hoping for as the end result is good, but the means to get there is not (Exodus 23:2). We can make a difference through other godly means. Humbly and prayfully we must take and make known our petitions to the Lord, listen to His voice for direction and search His words through the Bible to guide and direct your steps.

Have courage and be kind!

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Why still single?

Single Rose

I am writing this because of my last blog and thought that I would expand on the question of why some people are still single when they apparently read Joshua Harris’s book, having been following the principles and are/were waiting on God. I sat and thought about this more for a long time after a phone conversation with one of my guy friends. During the conversation it came up about the fact that there were a number of single girls in his town and he couldn’t quite understand why they were all still single. (He himself is married).

There are so many factors, situations and reasons that play apart as to why girls and guys are still in the ‘single’ stage/ situation of life. It is so easy for us to blame God, a book and people as to why we are still single, but I believe that this needs to be looked into in a more open minded way. Don’t worry, I can relate as I too being in my early thirties and am currently single. This may not be the complete list or answers as to why but here are some reasons as to why some people could be in the ‘single stage’.

Where I grew up there isn’t many young adults in our churches especially around my age which makes it difficult to find someone and I am from a city! I lived there for 29 years before moving to a smaller town for my job. You may be from a small town and this could be a factor, just no one around. To every problem there is a solution whether it be, what are you doing to share your faith with others? With this will bring new people into your church- though be careful of your motive as your motive for sharing your faith shouldn’t be to find a wife/ husband. This is just simply another avenue that God could bring someone into your life. We are called to be missionaries and to spread the Word of God. Geographically is one reason as to why people haven’t found someone and I would say is quite common.

Another factor is the spiritual state of those available and I personal believe that this is a big thing. For me personally I believe in finding someone not only the same faith as me, as this is what the Bible is very clear on (2 Corinthians 6:14), but in spiritual harmony with me within the faith. They don’t have to have been in the church as long or have as much knowledge but God has to be number one in their life and very much apart of their life. Even within the same faith you have to be careful as not everyone is always on the same page or has a relationship with God. There are a lot of people who just go to church because that’s what they have always done, tradition and social aspect/ side of church, but don’t have a personal relationship with God or know what they believe. Even those that come into the church don’t always come in for the right reasons or are ready to enter a relationship- you shall know them by the way they act and their fruits (Seek wise counsel if unsure). This could be another reason that there might be a lack of spiritual young people. I myself personally won’t enter a relationship with someone who isn’t on the same page as I have witnessed so many broken relationships because of this or those being changed by that person who didn’t have a relationship with God, for the worse and from my own personal experience. Through making yourself spiritual, you can be a witness to others, which will help them grow in theirs and they might become strong in the Lord. Be careful not to enter a relationship in the hope of changing the other person, as this is not the right motive or Gods way. Mostly you will be pulled down and they will revert back to their ways.

Maybe your not spiritually where you should be, your motives are impurer or have a lack of faith. We don’t have to be ‘perfect’ for God to bring you a partner but we do have to be having God at the forefront of our lives in every area and aspect. We can only serve one master (Matthew 6:24).

Maybe its not Gods time! I know you have probably heard this before but it is true. Waiting on God is the hardest thing (I totally understand as I find it hard at times too), but ultimately God is God and He knows best. He knows you and the future. He wants to give you a great future full of blessings. He is not a withholder (Jeremiah 29: 11-13). There could be reasons as to why He may have kept you single such as the work you are doing for Him is great at the moment and you wouldn’t be able to achieve this if married. Your time and other areas, things in your life change once you become married. He may want to continue to develop your character in preparation for marriage or maybe the person you are meant to be with isn’t ready. How many of us think of that thought? They could still be finding out about God through situations in their life, just coming into the church or maybe you are helping them know God at the moment.

Make yourself available by attending camps, conferences, training, meeting new people, visiting churches, travelling, so that you can continue to get to know yourself- who you are, who God wants you to be, as well as meeting others. Though God doesn’t want our sole focus in life to be looking for our ‘soul mate’ but to wait on Him, He still expects us to use the brain that He has given us. We aren’t to lock ourselves away expecting God to drop someone on our doorstep (though of course God can do anything). God expects us to meet others as we are called to share. There is nothing wrong with making yourself available in a God honouring way.

Continue to get to know God, do a work for Him while you are still single because its not finding “Mr Right” but being the person God wants you to be. Mission first, Mate second as was instituted in the Garden of Eden with Adam (Genesis 2:15, 19-20).

Unfortunately there is the reality too that we don’t live in an ideal world so there will be some people that may never have a partner due to various reasons. War has also played a part in this factor, creating fewer men in the world to women. I like how in ‘Princess Cut’ the Christian movie dealing with relationships said, that we need to stop trying to get a harvest before planting the seed. God has given you this valuable time while single to serve others and to draw closer to Him. We are to use it wisely, stop trying to find love, let God bring love to you.

Its better to be happily single than unhappily married. Be thankful and content with what you do have.

Much love.